My Keanu Days

Despite having more options than most, I made fewer choices. Autopilot felt like the only way to cope with life's endless tasks and responsibilities. Sometimes it still does. We can't always be switched on and alert, ready to take on whatever life throws our way. But I knew that if I were to create a future of which I was proud, I needed to be more intentional about how I got there.

Occasionally, I wake up rested and ready for the day. I find energy in my work and relationships. Challenges inspire me. I am agreeable despite not giving a damn what anyone thinks of me. You won't get a rise out of me. I end the day feeling accomplished and pleasantly spent. If we met, I hope it was on a day like this, for both our sakes.

I call them my Keanu days.

Do you remember your last Keanu day? If not a whole day, an afternoon? Perhaps it was only an hour of contentment before the world corrected you. When was it? When was the last time you felt satisfied with your life? The first time I asked myself that question, I conceded how rare those occasional days had become. I comforted myself. Only the careless or carefree have days like that. Not real adults with a role to play. Who doesn't end the weekend dreading the week ahead? Who isn't bored by their work?

Show of hands, who doesn't feel lonely most of the time?

My Keanu days have become more frequent. I know I am on the right path. I make more choices, and what I choose reflects who I am. I remember the sensation of trying to fit into a space too small for my big heart. I am waiting for it. The sign that I've made a mistake. I know now that I don't have to be daring, just sincere. I don't need to go big or go home. Just willing to take one step forward. It's not a question of self-confidence, though I am more blessed with it than most. By getting to know myself, I relearned how to believe in myself. I learned how, without having to be or become a particular type of person, I could climb higher.